I used to say that getting rid of patterns or triggers isn’t like flipping a switch – it’s not like they just stop all of a sudden one day – it takes time. But what I’ve come to experience over the past few years is that actually, growth and healing a trauma or pattern IS an awful lot like turning a light on. First we recognize the current wiring isn’t working- a particular pattern needs to be changed. Then there’s the demolition phase; we tear out the old circuitry, maybe even pull a wall down or two. We put in the new wiring, hook ourselves up to a new power source, make sure everything is connected the right way (potentially zapping ourselves a few times before we get it right), flick the switch and all of a sudden – bang – there’s the light. The pattern or trauma no longer influences us.
Spiritual self development is like this. It isn’t about investigating the problem- we don’t need to spend time analyzing why the original light switch didn’t work. We simply install new wiring, connect to a better power source, and flick the switch. Put in real terms- we upgrade our operating system through meditation, connecting to our intuition, and cultivating love. As Dr. Dugliss says,
“Instead of using the power of awareness to analyze, we use the power of consciousness to shift and grow.”
Sounds so simple. But it doesn’t feel that way, does it? When you’ve been one way your entire life, the idea of being able to just flick a switch and change seems impossible. That a particular trait or challenge you have struggled with for as long as you can remember might simply disappear overnight sounds ludicrous.
First of all, you need to remember that “You are under no obligation to be who you were a year, a month, a day, or even 15 minutes ago. You have the right to grow.” In fact… It’s why we’re here. It’s actually the whole point. We are designed to grow! The sad thing is that our culture does not embrace or recognize human growth and potential. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”, “Intelligence is inherited”, “This is just the way I am.” Such common phrases, all at their core saying that growth and change is limited, when in fact the opposite is true.
Instead, how about the idea that “The greatest problem facing humanity is wasted potential” (no idea who said, this, but YES). Each one of us is pure potential.
Our ability to change is limitless. Our ability to heal is limitless. We simply need to embrace our own power and right to do so; then learn the tools and get the support to help us in the endeavor.
Understand that there are two parts to growth, and without both, you limit that potential within you. First, you must Expand, and then you must Integrate.
We can’t access our full potential until we develop ourselves sufficiently to NOT be dominated by the mind, the senses, the self concept, or the ego. This is where expansion comes into play- we meditate (with an automatic self transcending method like Heart Based Meditation- remember that not all forms of meditation create the same result), so that we can allow the thinking mind (the left brain) to let go and for us to experience more of the right brain, spirit centered, part of ourselves, which connects us to our intuition. Letting go of control can be the biggest challenge some people face; for others, it’s incredibly difficult to fully open to new awarenesses about themselves. However, growth can’t be controlled, and we can’t reach our full potential if we keep part of ourselves hidden. This is why uncovering and understanding our internal workings is a process that takes courage and determination.
Expansion allows us to KNOW ourselves more accurately. But you can know something to be true and still use your free will to pretend you don’t. You can KNOW that eating an entire bag of Doritos isn’t a great idea, but until you’ve integrated that knowledge, you’re still going to eat the whole thing. This demonstrates a lack of integration. In fact, any time you experience your mind saying one thing, but your gut or heart saying another, you are experiencing a lack of integration.
This is why we next need to utilize integration techniques like intuition training, Heart Centering, and guided contemplation to fully incorporate the new awareness. If we do so, we learn how to more accurately not only hear, but follow, the guidance available to us. When this happens- the light switch gets flicked on. When we have fully integrated the awareness, wounds are spontaneously healed and old patterns released in the blink of an eye. I’ve experienced this personally, as have many of my clients. Situations that used to create turmoil simply don’t anymore. Triggers no longer take control. Fears that used to dominate don’t even come into awareness. When it happens, it feels like a miracle. I’ll never forget the first time I had to introduce myself in one of those “let’s all go around the circle and say our name and one interesting fact about us” moments and did NOT spend the entire time before it was my turn stressing about what I would say, and the entire time after my turn worrying about how I had come across. In the moment, I didn’t even think about it. I normally would OBSESS about such things- the fact that I had simply been present and it hadn’t even occurred to me to pre-plan and post-worry was mind blowing. Did I really not care what other people thought? No, I really didn’t- for the first time in three decades, I really didn’t.
But this is the sort of thing that can become a regular occurrence when you implement regular meditation and integration techniques, and it will (obviously) change your life, and help you achieve greater peace and happiness than you ever dreamed. But the process… it can be tricky getting to that light switch moment. You may get zapped a few times while installing the new circuitry. Which is why the need for love can’t be stressed enough.
One of the roadblocks we likely hit as we grow and gain awareness, become more sensitive, and more comfortable with actually allowing ourselves to feel all the feelings, is that it can seem like our quality of life actually goes downhill. If I had even a nickel for every time a client told me “I feel like I’m coming apart at the seams.”, “It feels like I’m dying.”, “I’m just such a mess right now.”… I would be a very wealthy woman.
This is why we need love; why we need to cultivate within ourselves its facets like Compassion, Forgiveness, and Invincibility. If we are able to connect with our intuition, we know what is in Harmony with our inner truth, which makes it so much easier to decide how we want to live our lives. If we are able to step into Acceptance, we may even find deep Gratitude for things we used to hate about our experience. As we gain facility with moving through our pain, we are able to find a Joy we never dreamed of.
Part of the power of being free- the power of consciousness- is in where attention goes energy flows. If you BELIEVE you are one way, you are going to act in that way. The power of consciousness is the power of learning how to stop identifying with anything- once you do that, you can shift and change literally overnight. Asking yourself questions from a place of deep Love, from the hearts center, is a fast way of recognizing the illusion behind the beliefs you may hold about yourself. For example- if someone says you are a selfish person, you can learn how to sit in the hearts center and ask yourself “Is it true?”. Perhaps it is, in which case giving yourself compassion and forgiveness is part of the healing and transformation process. Perhaps it isn’t, in which case your conviction of this knowledge erases the impact the other persons statement has on you. How? Think about what it’s like to walk by a barking dog. Assuming the dog is securely restrained so there’s no fear of harm, do we really care about the dog? No. There’s no reason to, it’s just doing what dogs do when they see a stranger. As we grow, we begin to recognize that so much of what we let bother us is just a barking dog.
There is nothing more important than figuring out who we truly are, what we are here to do, and how to become the most authentic version of ourselves we possibly can be. Meditation, intuition, and love are the keys to expanding and integrating a new level of consciousness. As our subconscious patterning unwinds, we begin to have the ability to recognize we have a conscious choice to decide how we respond to everything. We get out of living a subconsciously reactive life. This is what enables us to hear what that quiet voice within us is saying, and have enough love for ourselves and for others to listen to it. This is my hope for all of you; my hope for the world. Because if we all could just learn how to love, accept, and live our lives as authentically as possible, this world would be a much more joyful place.
Love and Light,